I Didn’t Choose The Vegan Life, The Vegan Life Chose Me
Guest Post by Adam Kaya
I never tell people that I am vegan. Why would I? There are only so many eye rolls a person can handle before they start beating meat-eaters with carrot sticks (the weapon of choice for all plant-eaters.)
I go to restaurants and I plead with the server: ‘Can you make this dish vegan, please?’ They nearly always look me up and down. A few minutes later the dish comes and it’s a platter of goat’s eyes or something. Here we go…the dreaded ‘I am not trying to make a fuss, but I asked for this to be vegan and you’ve brought me a goat’s head.’ The server apologises and takes the dish away, secure in their own conviction that there is nothing wrong with the dish…
I am made to feel ashamed for this. I became vegan 2 years ago and it was my first time experiencing life with normal bowels. How wonderful. I started to feel amazing, no more embarrassing stories involving me feverishly pushing into queues for the toilet. Why should I be ashamed of that?
I am not one to tell other people how to live their lives. However, when people find out about my plant-based diet they say things like: ‘Oh, you should really drink milk or your bones will get weak!’- Incorrect - Or I get ‘Maybe you’re tired because you don’t eat meat?’ – Also incorrect, perhaps I am tired because I’ve just woken up and I haven’t had a coffee yet? – My favourite is ‘Isn’t your hair going to fall out?’ – The most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. There are plenty of animals that don’t eat meat and they are not bald! I tell you what, the second I start losing my hair I’ll inhale 20 burgers and prove you wrong.
This lifestyle change came with loads of research, I learnt about how dank nutritional yeast is and how to shovel a cacophony of assorted nuts down my throat and not feel guilty about it (definitely an activity I relish). My experience of being vegan is that it is, actually, guilt free - in a physical and metaphysical sense. I didn’t have to worry so much about my weight, which in turn, let me worry about other things (and possibly sort a few of them out). It’s great for your health if you do it right and it’s pretty damn good for the environment, I hear. Don’t worry, I won’t lecture you. However, feel free to look it up if you give a shit. The bad side of being a vegan (for me anyway) is that you can’t get that dirty takeaway pizza on the way home after a heavy night out. Let me tell you, that did require some getting used to.
I’m vegan because it helps me function as a normal person, I think it is better ethically and above all I like being vegan. That’s all there is to it. Making the change was my choice; I don’t recommend making the change if you can’t handle people’s ignorance and condescension, though.
If you like Adam’s article, go and stalk the shit out of his blog, Dissipating Lake.